Third-Party Marital Damages | Allan Brandon Tise, PLLC, Attorney at Law

North Carolina law allows you to seek damages against a third party responsible for damaging your marital relations. You can seek damages using alienation of affection or criminal conversation laws. The two cases, which have been nicknamed heart balm cases, sound similar but are markedly different. Below is a brief overview.

Criminal Conversation

Despite the name, criminal conversation is not a criminal charge, it doesn't take place in a criminal case nor does I have anything to do with speaking. Rather, criminal conversation is a civil dispute against a third party who has had sexual relations with your spouse. The civil case is common with divorcing couples where one spouse has accused the other of adultery.

Required Proof

As with other civil cases, you will need to prove your criminal conversation to get your damages. You must prove that:

• You are legally married to your adulterous spouse.
• Your spouse and the defendant had sexual intercourse without your consent or convenience.
• The sexual intercourse took place while you were still married and prior to the date of separation.

The circumstances of the affair will determine whether you can prove all the elements above. For example, you cannot claim criminal conversation because they had sexual intercourse after date of separation. You should also note that you only have three years from the date of discovery to file your case.

Possible Damages

Criminal conversation's main aim is to get monetary damages from the defendant. The nature and value of the damages vary by circumstances. Here are some possible damages:

• Loss of companionship
• Fear of sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Mental anguish and humiliation

Alienation of Affection

An alienation of affection claim alleges that a third party is responsible for your marriage's breakdown. The main difference between the alienation of affection and criminal conversation is that, in Alienation of Affection, you do not have to prove sexual intercourse.

In fact, the defendant's actions do not have to be intimate. That means you can also name other parties who are not romantically involved with your spouse as defendants in your alienation of affection lawsuit. Other possible defendants include in-laws, religious leaders, or even therapists who advised your spouse to terminate their relationship with you.

Required Proof

You don't need to prove sexual intercourse, but you must prove that the third party's actions have destroyed your loving marriage. Specifically, you must prove that:

• You had a loving marriage before the third party's actions.
• The love and affection of your spouse for you has ended.
• The third party did something that destroyed your spouse’s affection for you.
• The demise of love and affection in your marriage affected you.

Alienation of affection requires a direct link between the defendant's actions and the breakdown of your marital relationship. Note that the statute of limitations for alienation of affection is also three years from the date of discovery.

Possible Damages

The alienation of affection damages are more or less the same as those of criminal conversation. Thus, potential damages include:

• Loss of financial support
• Loss of companionship
• Mental suffering

Consider a case where your spouse has an extramarital affair, spends all his/her money on the other party, and depletes your marital resources. You can claim loss of financial support, among other damages, against the responsible third party.

A common complication with these heart balm cases is the required proof. Many people have to use private detectives to get the necessary evidence. Allan Brandon Tise, PLLC, can help you with all aspects of your case. We have decades of experience with family law in North Carolina. Contact us for a consultation to determine the best direction for your case.